Top tips for recharging your social battery

The thing is about being neurospicy is the constant conflict of loving to socialising and be around people and just hating people and wanting every one to leave me the hell alone. It's tiring.

I'm constantly trying to find ways to not let the social battery completely deplete . With age this is improving, yet I still find that I always crash after a big social event...

Notting Hill Carnival 2024 was a blast! My mind and body is suffering for it now... I have a relatively good understanding of the challenges I would face including my sensory differences which enabled me to be prepared.

Tip 1:

Sunglasses, transition glasses, tinted glasses. I have them all! I'm not great with brightness. Not just bright lights, but the brightness of the white clouds, as the sun is desperately trying to claw through (Ode to England!). I get headaches and have been suffering from quite the number of migraines the last few weeks (because of the "Summer sun"?? - it definitely doesn't help)!! Sunglasses are everywhere - car, laptop bag, handbag as I forget!

Tip 2:

Sound cancellation. The annoying buzzing, hums in the background...everywhere! Summer is the worst with all the buzzing flies... The background chatter, as people converse about there Summer antics and activities. The music. The shouting. The babies crying. The proclamations on sound speakers. People trying to have conversations with you. Drunk people; sober people; adults; children. It's just too much. But it's inevitable in an event that draws crowds of over a million people! Mitigation is key in the best way possible as sound overload is guaranteed. I had my loops in all day. Although the sound was still plentiful, I had some of it blocked out.

Tip 3:

Rest. In order to not allow total depletion of social battery in a social situation (which could lead to god knows what kind of emotional response!), I rested before, during and after. Albeit the rest beforehand was not as much as I would've hoped, but the rest afterwards was just right. The rest during social activities is also key. I'm not as physically abled as I used to be so I knew I would need to have time to just sit and rest. I took opportunities where I could sitting on the troop truck to rest my body. It was also closed off so it was bit quieter than when on the street so this gave my brain a rest from all the festivities outside. I fell asleep that night without the opportunity to do my daily exercises to stretch my muscles, so I felt it the next morning! Chronic pain does not help with one's motivation...I needed to move despite the pain which leads me to the next tip.

Tip 4:

Exercise is a natural mood booster. Our very own built-in anti depressant so we need to keep our bodies moving. This can be challenging when you're in pain all the time. But I always remind myself it is worst if I don't exercise. Not only for my emotional wellbeing but for my physical health too. I achieved my 10k steps!! There's something so satisfying with reaching 10k steps - my Fitbit buzzing and lighting up with a notification displaying a confetti bomb celebrating alongside me. I'm not always able to achieve it... On the days of pain, I keep my exercises light; build up to what I can, when I can. I have to be kind to myself and remind myself that it is only a temporary state and that I will feel better with time. It is usually the case. I start with some light stretches to loosen my hips, neck and shoulders; then onto my knee mobiliser and glute stretches. Takes anywhere from 20-60minutes depending on the pain (and the morning urge for the loo!!). As my day progresses, I continue to exercise when I can. So many exercises can be done in a chair...

Tip 5:

You guessed it; self-compassion! It is at the heart of everything I do. How can it not be? How can I be kind to others, teach others to be kind to themself and promote self-compassion if I do not practice it myself?! It is not always easy... Stress can influence so much of my ability to explore how I can be kind to myself but I always find a way. Sometimes I cry; sometimes I game; sometimes I just accept I can't be bothered and allow myself to be for half a day (or so!); sometimes I call or message friends and family; sometimes I write it out; sometimes I just allow myself to be held by my husband. My mind wants me to be neglectful of myself when my battery is depleted, so I may not have an appetite, or remember to drink. So I make sure to have a bottle of water or juice around me as a visual prompt. I make plans to go out for food with friends as a social reason to eat. I give myself a facial as it's a great time to be mindful! I listen to music as it genuinely feeds my soul! SO much music for so many moods and I have a playlist for them all! I spend time with my loving pets; they make me feel so good! Finally I try to communicate with those around me. My husband get's it the most; he knows my triggers and he knows my early warning signs. He knows a crash is imminent after every social event so he tries to mitigate things as much as possible. The crash happens anyway, but it looks different every time.

Tip 6:

Recharge and restore. I do this in many ways. I find being productive is a great way for me to do this sometimes. I plan, I tidy, I clean. I do things that have been on my to-do list for what feels like forever. I do things that I don't want to do and have been putting off. It's that sense of achievement again. You feel good when you accomplish something, no matter how big or small the task. My neurospicy strengths working collaboratively - all or nothing and hyperfocus into getting tasks done. My husband and I have a phrase - "no more do it later, do it now". It's a statement that strengthens me when I really can't be bothered.

So, although I'm still achy and it's taken me about 2 hours to write this as I'm doing a million and one things in between, I recognise the different ways for me to get back to feeling the optimum version of myself. Although there are factors in my personal life out of my control, I'm continuing to try to remain in control of the things I can. Crying it all out this morning really did help take a weight off of my shoulders and my tears cleansed me and allowed me to take another view at my circumstances and remain in control of my narrative. I got out of bed for an hour then hopped back into bed for an hour and I felt good about that. My social battery is not quite fully charged again or even at the level I quite want it to be yet, but I know with what I have planned for today and what I've already done so far I'm well on my way to getting there.

It's my birthday tomorrow and I'm going to be 33. I don't know why but it always stuck with me that Jesus died at that age (going to a Catholic school imprints on a person). Three is also the number of the trinity. My trinity - past, present and future me. Past me wouldn't believe the stories I'd tell them about present me as I always thought there would be a fight against me being my authentic self. Future me is going to look back at present me and be proud for being my authentic self and empowering others to do the same.